Blog Tour: Where's the Groom? by Sophie Meyer

Welcome to my stop on the Where's The Groom? blog tour, hosted by Samantha at CLP Blog Tours!  Today I have a wonderful guest post from Sophie!  Also if you visit Sophie's blog tour page HERE you can enter to win a $20 Amazon gift card!!

Title: Where's the Groom?
Author: Sophie Meyer
Published: February 3, 2013

Ashley, just turning thirty, is stuck with a string of bad dates that keep getting worse. The last of her group of friends to be single, she’s quickly becoming hopeless about finding The One.

When a friend convinces her to attend a new-age workshop on making your dreams come true, she gets onto a roller coaster she can’t get off of. The poignant and hilarious comedy of errors begins. The workshop sweeps through her life like a tornado and turns her reality upside down. She is told: visualize it, and he will come. But Ashley takes it seriously, and before she knows it, she’s planning a wedding. There’s only one problem: there’s no groom.

Things quickly spiral out of control as one misunderstanding after another occurs, and Ashley’s friends and family find out a wedding is happening, and want to know who the groom is. Backed into a corner, she finds herself having to lie, and to make her wedding planning more and more a reality. Things intensify as Ashley chooses her bridesmaids and is caught in a whirlwind of looking for dresses, choosing a venue, finding a band, and everything else. Soon a date is set, invitations are sent out, and there is no backing out!

In the meantime, Ashley is desperately dating, hoping for The One to show up in time! In a shocking ending with a twist, Ashley draws true love into her life in the most unexpected way.

Searching for The One

(The Practice of Love)

So many of us are searching for the One. We all want love. Then, when we get it, many of us become afraid and start to run in the opposite direction. On the one hand, we are searching for love, searching for some lasting relationship. On the other hand, we often do many things to push the person away.

It always "seems" as if relationships are difficult. They are difficult to find, difficult to keep and difficult to enjoy. Yet, the basic reality is that there is never a scarcity of relationships -there is never a scarcity of love. Love doesn’t come from the outside, it comes with within. It is up to us open our hearts and let the love flow. Love is our natural condition. Why aren't we in it all the time? What is it that keeps us from this love we are so hungry for?

The most common answer to this question is that before we will allow ourselves to love, first we must find, the perfect person. Most people don’t pass our test and we tell ourselves that is the reason why we are alone. But the truth is, we won’t let love happen. We find something wrong with everyone we meet.

Sitting around waiting for the perfect person can be a real trap. Take a moment to see clearly who this perfect person is to you? Write a description of how you would imagine your perfect partner to be. Then, take a moment to see how you would have to be in order to have such a partner?

It’s possible that you might think – what can this perfect person possibly see in me? How can I hold him? How painful it will be when I’m rejected. Before we find the One, we have to really like and respect ourselves. We have to become our own best friend.

Otherwise, it is easy to want this person to be someone who will build up our own self-image., make us feel good about ourselves. Without this person we might feel as if we don’t count, or that our life isn’t full enough. But, when we use another person to build up our self-image, this kind of relationship is never stable, it is always grounded in doubt and fear of loss.

Love has nothing to do with any images of fantasies of how somebody else should be – or how you should be either. Love is accepting yourself and another exactly as they are. And, love is never about using another to feel better about yourself. If that’s what you’re doing it isn’t love.

Love is a practice. First we have to start with ourselves. We need to build our love muscles daily, see the best in others, (and ourself), learn to truly listen, stop judging a book by its cover, become patient, learn how to give.

Here’s a huge secret I’ve discovered. Happiness doesn’t necessarily come from being loved, it comes from being loving. The first step in Searching for the One is searching for your own loving heart. Even though you may not know it, all the loving you are seeking from others is waiting right there for you within.

The perfect person for you to practice being loving with is always the one who is beside you right now. Each person you meet is giving you a chance to become stronger, kinder, more positive and feel better about yourself. The more you are willing to do this practice, the more of a love magnet you will become, and the sooner you will inevitably draw the one who is right for you.

The practice of love includes many exercises, steppingstones and practices. Here is an exercise to begin your practice of love right away. Try it and enjoy:

Look around for a moment. Who is there? Really look at this person. Are you willing to see the best in them? Are you willing to accept who they are? When you do, you are loving them. Are you willing to allow them to love you, too?

Some have a hard time accepting love, don’t feel they deserve it. If that is you, just become aware of it. As you love others more, you’ll feel better about allowing them to love you, too.

Now, look around at whoever else is in your life. Make a list of the people. Imagine yourself loving each one of them. One at a time. Then imagine them loving you, too. What does it feel like? Practice this when you are alone, and when you see them as well.

(In this exercise love doesn’t necessarily mean romantic love)

If you can’t imagine feeling loving towards someone, write down, why not? What has to change about them for you to love them? What has to change about you?

There is a wonderful saying that anything we can’t accept in another, is something we can’t accept in ourselves. Try accepting yourself fully now. Try accepting others. Congratulations, you’re on the royal road to love.


“Love is wanting for the other what they want for themselves
Even if you aren’t the one able to give it to them.”
Lester Levenson



Sophie Meyer offers talks and workshops on the Practice of Love. Contact her at sophiemeyerauthor@gmail.com

Sophie Meyer has been writing for years, and has always been in love with love.
With a background in psychology, philosophy and theater, she's helped many find love, avoid detours and climb out of inevitable pitfalls. The essence of her life and work are exploring the wonderful, spontaneous and unpredictable surprises life loves to provide. She also offers talks and workshops on finding and living a life of love.